i know long time

i stole this from another blog friend:
My year in review according to facebook--

happy new year...is celebrating her 10th anniversary today...does not want to go back to work tomorrow.... I think every one in OK needs to watch this..thanks... is really hoping she does not have to go into work tomorrow... is TGIF!... is Aw rest in peace Toni..see you "just west of hell"...thinks that one of the "meth" houses on crystal darkness doc is one she has been too..ah the places this job takes me... hates being blindsided by attorneys....just wants to feel better :(.... is working from home.... does not know what path to take!!!.... does not think she can and will have to move on... got her hair done... is home with a migraine... is loving her roses and waiting for her steak dinner (i know a day early)... has had a good weekend so far... does not want to go to work tomorrow..is wishing she can get this talk over with and it goes in her favor..is GOING TO BE A MOMMIE!!!!!... thinks she needs to get a new job... working from home..has to go to freaking work on Friday night..vacation is not getting here quick enough...is in mississippi..yipee!!... is excited to get the kids for the WHOLE weekend!!!..is fixing to take the kids to play in the snow.. thinks it is way to quiet in the house...:(...is still home sick.. i am really confused by an email and am getting very pissed that i am getting no answers..why drop a ball on someone then not answer your damn phone 2 minutes after you email them..i mean really??... Chris is out of town and i am bored!.. wishes this head ache would go away..... Had a great time today and wants to say thank you to all my friends who showed today for the shower..just being there was the bestest gift anyone could give!!! I love ya Amanda!!.. is ready to quit...:(.. hard to work when it is raining like this... everyone should go to the bottom of the page..where it says english (US) and click english(pirate)--awesome..is thinking she is going to to go see blues traveler tonight..anyone wanna go..its free...needs to get the jungle of her yard under control and her lawn mower is not cooperating! any one got one i can borrow?..is happy her neighbor took pity on her and let her borrow a lawn mower....is wondering why she was so stressed about being late to this appointment when the out of town people are REALLY late..common people i got things to do!.. is the week over yet?..sometime the ones you think are your enemies are in fact your biggest allies and the ones you think are on your side are actually your enemy...is on her way to Dallas to see the king tut exhibit! Had a good weekend with my friends..needed this weekend..never mind sold out..got to go to the exhibit afterall..it was awesome..will be home about midnight..is so tired and ready to be home already.. thinks it is awsome when people are surprised that i can be a bitch..sorry i mean super assertive-- when talking with hard to deal with people... happy birthday Chris..does not want to be at work today..is totally iritated by the stupid people i have to work with..what good is a safety plan if not all parties are following the requirements!!!!!..ew..just saw pics of herself from BBQ this weekend and is VERY dissapoointed that she let herself gain all that weight that she worker so very hard to lose in th 1st place...it is time for the fat suit to go away!..skipped work today..got her ass kicked at Cross Fit and i was only doing the intro class workout..crap..this is going to be painful..muscles hurt like never before...some people do not need to be parents..did crossfit tdday..much better than last time--repeat after me/..dont throw up dont throw up dont throw up..oh crap dont cry dont cry dont cry.....getting ready to go to Norman Wednesday and Thursday...is in Norman for the most depressing training EVER and seriously need something to do.. mmmm thai food!.. still in super depressing training...enjoying listening to the rain..is tired..i think crack would be easier...why do people think it is a good idea to piss me off..obviously they do not know me or really like pain!!...feels like she has been hit by a truck.sucks she had to miss her crossfit class but sleep sounded much better..wonders when it turned August already! my truck said 111!..is a happy girl..but wait micheal jackson cant die!! he's an ALIEN!!!.. hanging out at the court house..yipee..is waiting for chris to bring me my keys so i can go to work..thought this day would never get over..yay for 3 day weekends... is hot and tired..3 hours of frisbee golf is enough to wear me out!... happy 4th everyone..had fun, good food, good friends, good drinks..awesome fireworks--very tired--time for bed..needs to get motivated...took the day off work today.. is SOOOO happy for her friend OWEN!!!!..was really hot standing in line to see the tiny titanic exhibit..whatever..safe place has been violated!..on my way to southcrest to be with my mom who fell 7 ft through the floor in her rent house.. Mom was admitted to saint fransis neuroscience icu last night from southcrest..she had a head injury and there was bleeding on her brain that they are monitoring and they thought possible hip fracture (but i think that has been ruled out) waiting on result... mom is doing well..fingers crossed she is discharged tomorrow..mom is finally home from hospital..i am going to take a nap.....needs to get busy cleaning my house....yep crack would be easier..i need a good massage..thanks for all the birthday wishes..i spent the ENTIRE day at court for work so i am taking a 3 day weekend... has so much to do today..not sure it will all get done..really sick..hope noone else i was around this weekend caught what i have...still home..can eat more than crackers today..waiting for her disclosure meeting and worried about her grandpa..hate when he is in the hospital and hate it even worse that i cant go see him due to virus... should just accept the fact that some people will always take something possitve and turn it in to a big pile of shit.. got totally thrown under a bus--can someone please get the knife out of my back... damn it just got "better"...Got to spend some time with my new extended family..listening to the rain..time to curl up..wondering if she will get to watch the meteor shower tonight..is hanging with my kids for the weekend :)..getting the kids ready to meet papa and grandma..tccccddddddi=[-[09i8uy6t5rewq7u6-----joshua says hi.. finally kids are asleep..i am exhausted..how do you people do this ALL the time..just dropped the kids off :(..is saddened by the news of her friend micheals passing. RIP mike.. highly recommends everyone stop by Boomes fried pies on I35 and Hefner in OKC..it was awesome and the owner is super cool!.. grandpa is not doing well..i am not ready... is so incredible sad...please god grant me the strength to not totally lose it at the hospital like i did yesterday..i am not ready for my grandps to go but i cannot stand to see him this way..everyone please pray that he goes "home" soon...grandfather just died. she was able to be with her grandmother and grandfather when he died. just wanted to let everyone know. her mom..grandfather passed at 735 tonight...i miss him so much... needs to clean her house..but just does not feel like it...:(...said screw the house cleaning and went fishing..it was nice to be outside and at the lake...house gets cleaned tomorrow.. not going to work.. uh is so done with stupid people..thank god i have 2 months off.. FINALLY! Got placement today it will be official placement at 4:30. this has been a LOOOONG road..now if drool prince will lay down and take a nap!.. funerals over, kids in bed, allergies kicking my butt.. oh yeah and SUPER thanks RENEE for watching the kids today!... kids did not sleep at all..thus neither did i..and my hand hurts :( need to get the other room emptied and seperate the kiddos..ready to goooooooo..omg it is soooo nap time!!!.. is so sad she has to get rid of her fat kittie because she bit joshua the same way she bit me..sucks..has to go to work tomorrow..i thought i was on FMLA???..cleaning house, fixing dryers, changing diapers..i am super woman..got to sleep in till almost 10---it was nice.. So everyone should go to Chandler Park this weekend for the 2nd County Kings Champion Medfaire!... its going to be one of THOSE days.. finally got her grass mowed!..wants to go to the park but princess is not coperating with lunch so she may go to bed instead..and here comes the hail..had a great day at the zoo with my sister..the weather was perfect..has discovedhow addicting stuff jalapeno peppers are...mmmm with bacon and cream cheese...now lets hope i do not get a migraine...had fun at Denny and Melissa's..happy 40th Denny.. Happy birthday princess!!..what part of NO is confusing to you??... thinks she has strep throat! :(...wow we are all up and dressed by 9:30..now if there was something to do...anyone got good leads on daycare?..narrowed it down to 5..now to start interviewing them..hates when plans do not work out the way you want them too.. is in a bad mood....please pray for the family of this precious little boy as they go through their loss...fixing to start tackleing my messy house..yeah the house is clean now if i could justfigure out what to do with all this stuff from the 3rd bedroom...where am i going to put a 4 foot doll house??...wishes it was not raining so we can get out of the house!..osh jumped off the arm of the couch and i almost vomited..and he comes up to me and wiped the tear from my eye and patted the bump on my head..then he took my glasses that flew across the room and put them back my face...and then patted my back until i felt better...Anyone giving away free kittens? my friend is looking for one.. is wondering where she can find these cool rose colored glasses some people have?...so uh..the sooners decided not to play today..is wondering why we can not have 2 good days in a row...it is naptime!..thinks easy bake oven cakes are not very tasty..oh well princess enjoyed them and she will make one for her dad to enjoy tonight..baby gates are no longer useful--.. my house is being invaded by wolf spiders!.. Crap--my daycare fell through..wonder if i can find one by Monday?.. is it wrng of me that they both figured out how to get into the playpen and i am just going to leave them there..they seem to be having fun..narrowed it down to 3..one has done child care for several kids on my case load so i know she is good..one is right down the street from chris work and one is 2 miles from my house...ah decisions decisions!!!... has 2 daycare she really likes with their own different styles and needs to make a decision by 4..what are some criteria everyone else has used?.. is so excited to be taking the kids trick or treating tonight!!..does not want to go back to work tomorrow...moms hip replacement went great..now praying for a quick recovery..really hates when people do not do their job...i just lost my freaking daycare--AGAIN!..is so stressed.. ok REALLY? Anything else anyone wants to throw my way....fingers crosse--..DHS daycare resolved! kids start new day care monday!..:( Does not get to go to Corination..sometimes it sucks to be an adult!.. wow Sooners..really?.. wants to thank all the veterens, past, present and future for their sacrafices!..the people at Toys r us really know how to ruin a christmas spirit..but Hobby lobby made it all better...i do not think black friday is the type of shopping i EVER need to do..someone will die.. Congratulations SIR Uriangqadai Cinoajin i wish i was at bam to see this!..short packed day at work then 3 hours on the road to fil..ready for a 4 day weekend!..sitting at wild oats supervising a visit... its late..happy thanksgiving everyone!!.. prayers needed for my mom who was admitted to the hospital tonight and my long time friend Sandra who lost her husband yesterday..can we skip 3 and go straight to 4 please? thanks..that was the most boring party ever......mmm..beef stew..go nebraska go.. damn it..best freaking game all season..but i was so hoping for an upset!..blah..wish this head cold would go away..home with a sick baby boy..my christmas tree took a tumble..not going to make it to new years..wondering if it is even going to make it til christmas..baby boy has pnemonia :(.. So today i was home with josh and we were fixing to go run errands--he was in the office and was playing on the logged off computer and i was like "ok bubs time to get dressed so we can go byebye" he takes his hand off the mouse and flicks it and says "no im busy" then points to the other office chair and goes "go si...t down"..i was speechless...waiting for the snow to get here.. is sad that she will not be able to have all her family over for christmas :(..MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!.. no boxing day party for us...roads too risky with 2 littles in the car..

i am thinking of making this private-- i hate to--what do my normal readers think? a friend of mine's site is being attacked and i would hate for it to trickle to me

bad blogger..

so i am a bad blogger..it has been FOREVER since i wrote anything! Alot has happened..
the lump under my arm went away..apparently it was an infestion and it went away on its own.
In July i found out that we were authorized for the kids even though their worker was fighting hard for us not to get them..still not sure as to why, but i do know she did the same thing with another adoptive home i know of, and her excuse was almost word for word what they said about me. They also came after my job and that is not cool..but we got authorized and their worker tried to delay things as long as possible..but she did NOT succeed because we got placement on September 1st!!!
so far things are going well and the kids are adjusting ok..Princess had night terrors every night for 2 weeks..we finally got those under control. She also had potty issues..she would not go poo..in the toilet or in her pull up nd she reqressed in her potty training..BUT she finaly started going in the toilet on a regular basis. Then i let her talk to her mom on her birthday and it has been down hill since..last Friday was AWFUL!she was so anxious and everytime we tried to leave the house it was complete meltdown..it was quite possibly the worst day ever...we are slowely getting better..she did not have a night terror last night and she has gone potty today.
Drool Prince..which is a more fitting nick name..has been soooo easy...he is definately a mamas boy and i cannot go to the bathroom with out him freaking out...
Both are testing boundaries and they fight a lot but they are very close..we are working on getting our 3rd bedroom cleared out so they can each have their own room.
Visits with bM are not going to happen anytime soon...princess is so not ready.
I have been off work since September 1st..technically before then as my grandpa passed away the week we got the kids..that was a bad day..i miss him so but am soo glad he got to meet the kids before he passed away.

I better go..kids are getting cranky which tells me it is nap time!

I will post pics later

things i should not do

i should not read web MD on Underarm lymphnodes..does not make me feel any better

lumps

so i found a lump...a perfectly round, very hard lump. i do not think it is in my breast..it is in my armpit area-- i am a little worried but am going to wait a week to see if it has any changes then go to the doctor..say a prayer it is just an ingrown hair or something..

my new addiction

ok so my husband and i decided that instead of renewing our current gym membership that we rarely use..we are going to pay more money to be tortured at CROSSFIT
it is hard..we went to a "orientation class" that did a base line work out..i thought i was going to die..but i finished. Then if you are still interested you do 3 personal training sessions to go over the basic moves that they do...and so he can see where you are at physically (remember i am fat girl) so those were not so bad..kind of easy..so now i am pumped and really want to get started..these are doing things i always wanted to do..like pull up, and push ups, and tire flips (watch the later episopes of biggest loser to get an idea of what they do if you do not go to the website) but just going to a gym and walking a treadmill is not going to build up the strength to do this..and i have NO upper body strength.
So TODAY was the 1st class..OH MY GOD! i think Crack would be easier..here is how it goes..
you get there and you do either a)500 meter row machine, B) 400 meter run, or C) 300 jump ropes..i did the Row in 3 minutes..then there are some stretches, then 10 push ups, 10 sit ups, 10 squates, 10 lunges, 10 pull ups, 10 dips, 10 of this one machineand i think that is it..then you staet the work out of the day..Today was 15 over head squates (hell) i cant do these with weights..i had to use a PVC pipe...2 times as fast as possible..then 15 clean hang (type of lift with weights) 2 times mine was 21 pounds. THEN came the work out....
Ready..
200 meter run with 30 pound sandbag (i used an 8 pound ball..held straight over head) , 25 pushups and 15 cleans....3 times..as fast as possible..i did it in 17 minutes..i thought i was going to die!!!!
Wednesday is going to suck..
not bad for a fat girl.

pics i warned you

i will spare you the fat pic shots..where i am in my underwear..i will save those when i have lost a few pounds and want to compare..but not today..:) you can thank me later

here the bad pics

ew i am just so disgusted!

ew

ok so i saw pics of me taken at bbq this weekend..and let me tell you this..i am totally disgusted with my self. I worked very hard to lose 50 pounds before hitting a plateu..and then..i gained it ALL back! NO MORE..this fat suit needs to come off..
I am going to copy my friend Lisa over at www.losewithlisa.blogspot.com andpost some reality pics tomorrow..i was going to start today with the outfit i have on..cause i thought it was a slendering one..but will need a reality check..and my camera battery is dead so will try again tomorrow when i can also officially weigh in..i also need to figure out what to do that does not require a gym membership..

it will be ugly tomorrow..so look at your own risk..

go check out this blog

so the girl who wrote about being a foster child that i posted as an earlier blog..she has a blog of her own and it is intense..
http://growinguplost.wordpress.com

everyone should go over and check it out..i could not stop reading..i got mad, i got intensly sad..and whats even worse she could be anyone of my girls on my case load (except i am not an incompetant worker and i would never move a kid "just because")
So everyone go over and read...

i just dont understand

i dont understand why i cannot just have kids..why do i have to go through all the pain, and the hoops--why do i have to be the only person in my ENTIRE family who cant get pregnant..my twin just has to think about sex and she is pregnant, and my baby sister who is addicted to drugs can get pregnant with no problem..and here i have tried to live my life as good person and i cant have the one thing i want more than anything and that is to be a mommy!!! God why do i have to go through all this..i cannot take the heart ache any more.
Funny..all through high school i never wanted kids..then my 1st neice was born and it became something i wanted more than anything..and i was ok with waiting..i wanted to graduate college and be stable..now i am and everytime i get close it is taken from me..i am so upset right now i just want to crawl in a hole and NEVER come out...

time of reflection

i was playing around on blogger and came across http://prairieguy.wordpress.com/ reflections of a foster youth..he had posted a letter that made me cry and i want to post it..now he has not responded if i have permission so if he says something i will remove it ASAP but i wanted to keep it to help remind me (not that i need reminders (sic)) of what my teens on my case load are going through and the next time i get impatient with their demands and threats of awol that this is what is going through their minds all the time.You’re Nothing More Than a Foster Child!

Posted on June 13, 2008 by prairieguy
This was sent to me by a youth who has been in foster care for the past 7 years and will age out next March with no family or support network to go to. It breaks my heart that things I expereinced and thoughts I had over 40 years ago remain a constant in so many of the lives of youth in care today. Society should hang their heads in shame.
UPDATE: I have just received notice that the young man who sent me this is NOT the author of the article. I apologize to the author and wish to give her proper credit. The actual author is Catherine Daniels, a young woman who spent years in foster care. I am sorry I did not verify if the young man who sent this to me was in fact the author.

Imagine…
Being the last person to sit down to the table for dinner because you aren’t the biological or adopted child… You’re nothing more than a foster child.

Watching the other children get new shoes/clothes/toys but you have to wait on a “check” because you aren’t the biological or adopted child… You’re nothing more than a foster child.

Getting left behind while the rest of the house goes on vacation or visits a major theme park because you aren’t the biological or adopted child… You’re nothing more than a foster child.

Not wanting to unpack your bags and put things away because you never know when you might be up and moved again because you aren’t the biological or adopted child… You’re nothing more than a foster child.

Sleeping on the couch or porch, with storage bins and trash bags storing your belongings with no personal space to call your own because you aren’t the biological or adopted child… You’re nothing more than a foster child.

When you move you don’t have a suitcase as other children but rather garbage bags because you aren’t the biological or adopted child… You’re nothing more than a foster child.

Not having surgery your doctor recommended because it needs to go through a board for approval before it can be done because you aren’t the biological or adopted child… You’re nothing more than a foster child.

Getting a CD, book, and candy bar as christmas while the rest of the children got DVD players, Walkmans, bikes, etc because you aren’t the biological or adopted child… You’re nothing more than a foster child.

Running away, crossing county, state or even country lines and having no one look for you or report you missing because you aren’t the biological or adopted child… You’re nothing more than a foster child.

Having someone start to care about you, and start to form an attachment only to be up and moved simply because someone decided a different home would be better for you for God knows what reason because you aren’t the biological or adopted child… You’re nothing more than a foster child.

Having a school refuse to re-enroll you for the seventh time in ONE school year. You’re nothing more than a foster child.

Having doctors offices leave your address blank because it changes so many times. You’re nothing more than a foster child.

Not making friends because you never know when you’ll be up and moved.You’re nothing more than a foster child.

Refusing to take school pictures because you know you won’t be there at the end of the year. You’re nothing more than a foster child.

Hardening your heart to attachments because you know how quick they disappear. You’re nothing more than a foster child.

When one lives for years within the foster care system, experiences numerous moves and maybe even things worse than that because “You’re nothing more than a foster child”…
how can society expect one to form relationships and attachments or even trust others?
This is the life of one who is “Nothing more than a foster

operation muffin top(ple)

thanks to Greedygrace i decided to post to OMT...http://twolia.com/blogs/the-catherinette-chronicles/operation-muffin-topple/

It sounds fun so why not.

please pray

something is going on and nobody is answering my questions. i am really worried that it is not good.

1st over night visit

so we had our 1st weekend visit. It was quite the learning experience. 1st..
let me go away from this line for a minute and gripe..i have LOTS of people throwing me showers and they all are waiting till AFTER the kids are placed so that we know what they have..um they have NOTHING..what i got is it (i am sure they will have some toys and clothes but other than that all they have it what i will have at the time of placement)SO i would think the showers should be BEFORE so that they have things...one reason stated--what if you dont get them..um would you tell a pregnant woman "what if you miscarry..i mean really..we are getting these kids..this is not a private/agency adoption where birth mom could back out 3 days before..mom has already relinquished and we got tribal permission.
so one lady is giving me a toddler bed, and another is giving me a mattress..but not at the same time and only today after i drop the kids off (mattress is tomorrow), then my sister is loaning me her crib..only one half is missing so it only sets up as a day bed..lil man is still sleeping in a crib. So i put princess on the crib/day bed and lil man in a playpen i just borrowed for the weekend..will have to come up with something else next weekend.
we had to make a trip to walmart before we got them than still forgot stuff (like baby food and juice, milk, baby shampoo..etc)
Friday night both kids got in to bed with no problems and fell right to sleep. Some time in the middle of the night princess fell out of bed and woke up screaming bloody murder..i put her back in bed and lil man still asleep..whew. Then at 7 there is a horrible caughing..lil man has asthma and i thought it was him, but it was princess having a horrible asthma attack..i called foster mom..because all i know lil man is the only one with issues..nope princess does too..and i should just use lil mans breathing treatments. That would have been helpful information. I was for sure we were going to need to make a trip to the ER.
Saturday started great then lil man got really fussy and would not eat and just slept a lot..called foster mom again..oh yeah he has been trying to cut teeth all week, baby tylonol and baby food should take care of it. Then we went to a friends for a sec and he started runing a fever and vomited everywhere..so off to the store again for pedialite and orajel..we put him in our room to sleep. Most restless sleep ever..every sound he made we were up checking on him. So we finally just put him in bed with us.
Today was better and we all took a 2 hour nap together. Then i had to bring them home. I did not want to. i miss them a lot..

just random updates

it has been a while since i posted..here are jut some random things
The tentative date we get the kids is the 18th of April. We have our 1st over night this weekend..i am so nervous..i am trying to get things together for them. It has been a learning experience that is for sure.
Little mans birthday is the 16th and we are doing easter at the house so i think we will also have a small family birthday party for him at the same time.
There is 2 baby showers being planned at this time

I am cheating..i decided to take weightloss pills. I am on 3 different medications that if i lose weight i can get off of..the problem is 2 make me gain..so i am hoping that by adding this with Weight Watchers i can lose more then weight watchers alone.
I need to figure out a new routine for working out..does not look like the gym will be an option as the only time i can go consistantly is early in the morning and they do not offer child care then. I am looking at buying a treadmill.
went to Mississippi last week, had a blast, did not want to come back to work. i think i need to find something else to do. i have had a few options to change..i am going to wait.
I go on FMLA in April, if my assistant county director does not find a way to not approve it..which i am sure he is going to try.
alright i think that is all for now

later

i am in love

so i got to take the kids to the zoo today. Let me tell you that was an experience..but i am ready for it. I did not want to bring them back to the foster home. My husband was awesome, but he is such a new dad..every fuss the baby made he wanted to make sure he was ok, i am like leave him, if we jump everytime he makes a fuss he will continue to do that. It was awesome when i was walking and in the backgroud i hear "mommy wait for us". I know at this age everyone is mommy..cause that is just their name but it made my heart stop for a second. I want them now.

name changes

ok so since this blog is public and these are foster kids until finalization--they will from here on out be referred to as princess and lil man--i have already changed it in my other post

I'M GOING TO BE A MOMMIE!!!!!

The 2 kids i kind of made mention of before..9month old boy named lil man and 2 year old girl named princess...mom and dad relinquished their rights today and gave the court consent for me to adopt as a nonrelative kinship..and the tribe gave good cause (meaning they are allowing me to adopt even though i am not indian) and the kid's attorney gave consent and the judge gave permission to proceed (she will be the one finalizing for us)

i am sorry--what is your job exactly??

fracking monkeys run the state Current mood: annoyed
so..i asked the HR lady who is in charge of leave..she handles all the FMLA and disability stuff for people who need to take off..supposedly she is also the person who would know what type of things leave would be covered for and how to access it right (you would think)so i talked to her today and told her that i was going to be adopting and when we accept placement i would like to take time off work to you know do things like set up day care, bond, get to know the kid..what do i need to do to make this happen..she says when you finalize turn in the order from the judge..i was like finalization will be AT LEAST 6 months after the child is placed in my home..that does not help with the 1st few weeks. She was like well i think FMLA cover adoption (it does) but i dont know..hmm isnt this your job? She then tells me of other workers who have adopted and i should ask them..i am sorry i am not comfortable emailing some random person and saying "oh hey, brenda told me you adopted and that you need to tell me what to do about leave"...ISNT that her job to find out...any way that just did not make me happy..i guess i need to send an email up higher to find out.

blah

i am in a bad mood..i am blogging so i do not eat..there is a pint of ben and jerry's in the freezer i am trying to resist.

65 things update

ok one month has gone by and here is where i stand:
Send a card/letter to someone once a month (counts as complete after 6 months) I had several opportunities to do this this month and did not.
Organize/start a girl's night out
Donate food to food pantry (Does this count if my DH did it?)
Run a 5K
Volunteer at least 10 hours 0/10
Read bible- 15 minutes a day for 30 days (will restart each time I miss a day) 0/30
Pay it Forward-- I'm going to work out the details, but I think I'm going to do a book exchange or a homemade thing-- the first three people who responded get something handmade by me, and they have to do the same thing for three other people)
Meet up with an old friend does Myspace and Facebook count??
Make our Bedroom a place we want to be I did clean from top to bottom..and going to redecorate in the next few months
Increase our "intimate time" to at least 10 times a month (count as complete after 4 months) This was kind of difficult as we were both sick for 2 weeks
Respect chris more (not sure how to quantify this. Suggestions? )
Organize Closets
Organize all files – set up system
Organize CD's, DVD's, Games, etc.
Try 20 new Recipes - 4 new recipes this month :)
Go on a trip for our Anniversary (alone) (will have to be rainchecked as our anniversay was 2 weeks ago)
Go on a girls' weekend for my birthday
Plan a birthday party for Chris
Go to the lake
Go camping
Catch a fish
Go to the state fair
Go to a concert I saw Larkin at Arnies..need to remember to blog about this
Go on a picnic
Visit 3 of the USA's top 41 wonders
Lose 20 lbs.
Lose 40 lbs.
Lose 60 lbs.
Wear Size 14 Jeans
Buy a pair of $100+ jeans
Get a Mani-Pedi
Get Massage
Get a Facial/Eyebrow Wax
Get haircut 4 times 1/4 Got my hair cut saturday..need to post pic..I love it
Go to Doctor (Ob/Gyn)
Get fitted for a Bra
Complete a Jigsaw Puzzle (1000+ pieces)
Play FrisbeeGolf with Chris-
Play a night of poker with the guys
Design the back yard flower beds
Plant the back yard flower beds
Fly a Kite
Sing at a Karaoke bar
Go to an Aquarium
Build a Snowman
Throw a snowball at Chris (These last 2 i am not sure will happen this year as we have gotten NO snow..and we usually already have a snow day)
Decorate the house for Halloween
Take picture in a photo booth
Learn to crotchetCrochet something and give it as a gift
Learn to decorate a cake
Buy at least 5 gifts from ebay 0/5
Start a scrapbook
Blog at least 20 times a month (complete after 4 months) (does this count?) Dont think i made 20 this month
Host a blog giveaway
Blog as I complete each goal
RELearn to change my oil
plant a veggi garden
Take some type of "fun" class-- cake decorating, Thai cooking, something like that.
Read 10 books -
Increase retirement contributions
Increase savings account by $5000
Get organized at work
Practice supervisor interviewing
Make new list of 65 thing

:(

i think we are going to decline..Chris does not want 4 all at once..if this is gods plan (i am leaving this in his hands) he wil open Chris's heart but i am not going to pressure him to do this if he does not want to. I was really freaked out about it last night and did not sleep well, and i have been sad all day. I want to go see them again but i need to not. also my director did not approve me to take them sunday for pizza--i am not sure why..dont know if he wants to meet with me about it or he is just being an ass (the latter is probably more likely)anyway i will keep you posted on more info

4 boys..eek!!

so a coworker asked me about 2 weeks ago if i would be willing to foster adopt, i said yes depending on the risk involved. She told me she had 4 boys, 6, 4, 3, 1 who are currently in trial reunification with mom but she tested positive for meth so they have court to end the reunification and mom is going to relinquish. coworker does not want to have to put them in traditional foster only to have to move them again in a few months. I mentioned it to chris and he was liek absolutely not to 4 at once..so i let it drop..well she picked them up from the mom today to place in shelter. and i just happened to be at the shelter for a staffing. So now chris wants to at least spend a day or weekend with them..it would be as foster 1st. Coworker is going to try to get it approved by my director and if he is ok we will take them for a few hours on Sunday. If we think we will be ok with 4 then i will ask my worker to transfer my stuff to foster care. I will let ya'll know what happens.

an annoyance

ok so i need to get on a soap box..
Why do people feel it is ok to ask
"Do you know what you are getting your self into?" everytime we mention we are going to adopt..or they say things like "are you sure you want to" or "you know this will change everything are you sure you are ready"
Would you say something to like that to a person who just found out they are pregnant? I told my boss..you know it would be the same as if i was announcing to you that i was pregnant the only difference is I would have nine months.
Do people think we just woke up one morning and said "hm i think we should adopt a kid" WHY would i go through all the intrusion of my home if i was not sure? I have had 6 LONG years to think about this and prepar myself.
Yes I am well aware things will change..i am counting on it. Maybe my dh and i have been doing all that we are involved in to fill a void
yes i know that we will not be able to just get up and go..and we are ok with this.
Yes i know we will not be able to put as much time and money into our hobbies..so what
i am aware it will cost money..i think we will be ok..
yes we have considered day care cost, diapers, child raising expenses..and like if we got pregnant..you know what we will adjust.
Why cant people just say good luck--

ice day

ugh..why cant we get snow..my yard looks beautiful..but looks can be so decieving..it is nothing but ice. I wish i had a camera so that i can show it. it has done nothing but sleet for the last 24 hours.

history

Can i just say that today i am proud of my country! I think for once America got it right..it has nothing to do with skin color, but for once we elected someone who i feel is going to do right by america..not his trust fund, hedgefunds or whatever else. Obama is not just a black man being president (all though this totally rocks...maybe next time we will put a woman..dang it Hillary) but he is a common man like the rest of us. He was not born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he was raised by his grandmother in a time that not only was he looked down upon because he was black..but also because he was biracial. He worked hard to put himself through school..I heard someone say how can he say he grew up poor when he went to Harvard...UM HELLO scholorships, grants..duh..the way most people put themselves through college.

I am so excited about this time in our history..not to mention so HAPPY that Dubya is out of the office..lord if there was one person to screw things up..that was him.

The inaguration address was awesome, there was not a dry eye in my office..it gave me chills.

Good luck Mr. President, there is a lot of hope being put towards you...dont fuck this up.

Elodie

why is it...

why is it that evertime i make a committment to myself to get healthy and work out at least 30 minutes a day....
I get sick....

i wish the weather would pick a lane...

blogging

I am so bad at blogging, i am trying, I know it will help releave some stress and boredom, which both lead me to overeating.
I decided to use hearding cats..cause that is a phrase i use when things are total chaos..clients at work are being uncooperative, coworker being ..just being..sometimes i feel my life is like hearding cats..

65 things in 2009

I stole this from my friend lisa and thought it was a great idea..
so here are my goals for 2009
I will bold everything as i do them and blog about them

Send a card/letter to someone once a month (counts as complete after 6 months) I have had the oportunity 3 times this month and have not done it yet..need to get busy
Organize/start a girl's night out
Donate food to food pantry (Does this count if my DH did it?)
Run a 5K
Volunteer at least 10 hours 0/10
Read bible- 15 minutes a day for 30 days (will restart each time I miss a day) 0/30
Pay it Forward-- I'm going to work out the details, but I think I'm going to do a book exchange or a homemade thing-- the first three people who responded get something handmade by me, and they have to do the same thing for three other people)
Meet up with an old friend
Make our Bedroom a place we want to be
Increase our "intimate time" to at least 10 times a month (count as complete after 4 months) Respect chris more (not sure how to quantify this. Suggestions? )
Organize Closets
Organize all files – set up system
Organize CD's, DVD's, Games, etc.
Try 20 new Recipes -
Go on a trip for our Anniversary (alone) (will have to be rainchecked as our anniversay was 2 weeks ago)
Go on a girls' weekend for my birthday
Plan a birthday party for Chris
Go to the lake
Go camping
Catch a fish
Go to the state fair
Go to a concert
Go on a picnic
Visit 3 of the USA's top 41 wonders
Lose 20 lbs.
Lose 40 lbs.
Lose 60 lbs.
Wear Size 14 Jeans
Buy a pair of $100+ jeans
Get a Mani-Pedi
Get Massage
Get a Facial/Eyebrow Wax
Get haircut 4 times 0/4
Go to Doctor (Ob/Gyn)
Get fitted for a Bra
Complete a Jigsaw Puzzle (1000+ pieces)
Play FrisbeeGolf with Chris
Play a night of poker with the guys
Design the back yard flower beds
Plant the back yard flower beds
Fly a Kite
Sing at a Karaoke bar
Go to an Aquarium
Build a Snowman
Throw a snowball at Chris (These last 2 i am not sure will happen this year as we have gotten NO snow..and we usually already have a snow day)
Decorate the house for Halloween
Take picture in a photo booth
Learn to crotchet
Crochet something and give it as a gift
Learn to decorate a cake
Buy at least 5 gifts from ebay 0/5
Start a scrapbook
Blog at least 20 times a month (complete after 4 months) (does this count?)
Host a blog giveaway
Blog as I complete each goal
RELearn to change my oil
plant a veggi garden
Take some type of "fun" class-- cake decorating, Thai cooking, something like that.
Read 10 books -
Increase retirement contributions
Increase savings account by $5000
Get organized at work
Practice supervisor interviewing
Make new list of 65 thin

2009

ok i started this blog a LONG time ago and never did anything with it, mostly i was unsure what to write in it..now i know..here is what it is about, infertility, weight loss with PCOS, my journey to be healthy and adoption.
Infertility--it sucks, i have insulin resistence PCOS, i finally got my diagnosis after 4 long years. I am taking metiformin and it is not doing much for me. My DH went in for a SA in June, we never went to get the results, on one hand i want to know what they are, on the other, not so much.
We will not be doing any fertility treatments right now..all though DH did start mumbling about what our options are. I figure i will give him some time.
DH mom died in March and that got him really open to starting a family, especially since he now knows life is short, we cannot keep waiting for the perfect time, it will never come.
We are trying to adopt, all though this is not going as easy as i hoped it would, we have a social worker who does not work, i work as a child welfare worker..I KNOW what her case load is like..

And last but not least, today is my 1st day back on Weight Watchers, it is a struggle, the meds i take make me hypoglycemic so come around 4 and i am sick..i need to learn that whole 6 small meals. I do have 8 points left for dinner and am making a meal that is 7, then if i want a salad that is another 2..guess i will be dipping into the extra points. I wanted to go to the gym but being the 1st monday after new years, apparently EVERYONE else wanted to be at the gym too..hour long waits for the machine..no thanks..i will drag my happy butt up at 5 am and go in the morning. Man just a few more weeks and most people will drop off the planet of fitness resolutions.

alright until next time

peace