:(

i think we are going to decline..Chris does not want 4 all at once..if this is gods plan (i am leaving this in his hands) he wil open Chris's heart but i am not going to pressure him to do this if he does not want to. I was really freaked out about it last night and did not sleep well, and i have been sad all day. I want to go see them again but i need to not. also my director did not approve me to take them sunday for pizza--i am not sure why..dont know if he wants to meet with me about it or he is just being an ass (the latter is probably more likely)anyway i will keep you posted on more info

4 boys..eek!!

so a coworker asked me about 2 weeks ago if i would be willing to foster adopt, i said yes depending on the risk involved. She told me she had 4 boys, 6, 4, 3, 1 who are currently in trial reunification with mom but she tested positive for meth so they have court to end the reunification and mom is going to relinquish. coworker does not want to have to put them in traditional foster only to have to move them again in a few months. I mentioned it to chris and he was liek absolutely not to 4 at once..so i let it drop..well she picked them up from the mom today to place in shelter. and i just happened to be at the shelter for a staffing. So now chris wants to at least spend a day or weekend with them..it would be as foster 1st. Coworker is going to try to get it approved by my director and if he is ok we will take them for a few hours on Sunday. If we think we will be ok with 4 then i will ask my worker to transfer my stuff to foster care. I will let ya'll know what happens.

an annoyance

ok so i need to get on a soap box..
Why do people feel it is ok to ask
"Do you know what you are getting your self into?" everytime we mention we are going to adopt..or they say things like "are you sure you want to" or "you know this will change everything are you sure you are ready"
Would you say something to like that to a person who just found out they are pregnant? I told my boss..you know it would be the same as if i was announcing to you that i was pregnant the only difference is I would have nine months.
Do people think we just woke up one morning and said "hm i think we should adopt a kid" WHY would i go through all the intrusion of my home if i was not sure? I have had 6 LONG years to think about this and prepar myself.
Yes I am well aware things will change..i am counting on it. Maybe my dh and i have been doing all that we are involved in to fill a void
yes i know that we will not be able to just get up and go..and we are ok with this.
Yes i know we will not be able to put as much time and money into our hobbies..so what
i am aware it will cost money..i think we will be ok..
yes we have considered day care cost, diapers, child raising expenses..and like if we got pregnant..you know what we will adjust.
Why cant people just say good luck--

ice day

ugh..why cant we get snow..my yard looks beautiful..but looks can be so decieving..it is nothing but ice. I wish i had a camera so that i can show it. it has done nothing but sleet for the last 24 hours.

history

Can i just say that today i am proud of my country! I think for once America got it right..it has nothing to do with skin color, but for once we elected someone who i feel is going to do right by america..not his trust fund, hedgefunds or whatever else. Obama is not just a black man being president (all though this totally rocks...maybe next time we will put a woman..dang it Hillary) but he is a common man like the rest of us. He was not born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he was raised by his grandmother in a time that not only was he looked down upon because he was black..but also because he was biracial. He worked hard to put himself through school..I heard someone say how can he say he grew up poor when he went to Harvard...UM HELLO scholorships, grants..duh..the way most people put themselves through college.

I am so excited about this time in our history..not to mention so HAPPY that Dubya is out of the office..lord if there was one person to screw things up..that was him.

The inaguration address was awesome, there was not a dry eye in my office..it gave me chills.

Good luck Mr. President, there is a lot of hope being put towards you...dont fuck this up.

Elodie

why is it...

why is it that evertime i make a committment to myself to get healthy and work out at least 30 minutes a day....
I get sick....

i wish the weather would pick a lane...

blogging

I am so bad at blogging, i am trying, I know it will help releave some stress and boredom, which both lead me to overeating.
I decided to use hearding cats..cause that is a phrase i use when things are total chaos..clients at work are being uncooperative, coworker being ..just being..sometimes i feel my life is like hearding cats..

65 things in 2009

I stole this from my friend lisa and thought it was a great idea..
so here are my goals for 2009
I will bold everything as i do them and blog about them

Send a card/letter to someone once a month (counts as complete after 6 months) I have had the oportunity 3 times this month and have not done it yet..need to get busy
Organize/start a girl's night out
Donate food to food pantry (Does this count if my DH did it?)
Run a 5K
Volunteer at least 10 hours 0/10
Read bible- 15 minutes a day for 30 days (will restart each time I miss a day) 0/30
Pay it Forward-- I'm going to work out the details, but I think I'm going to do a book exchange or a homemade thing-- the first three people who responded get something handmade by me, and they have to do the same thing for three other people)
Meet up with an old friend
Make our Bedroom a place we want to be
Increase our "intimate time" to at least 10 times a month (count as complete after 4 months) Respect chris more (not sure how to quantify this. Suggestions? )
Organize Closets
Organize all files – set up system
Organize CD's, DVD's, Games, etc.
Try 20 new Recipes -
Go on a trip for our Anniversary (alone) (will have to be rainchecked as our anniversay was 2 weeks ago)
Go on a girls' weekend for my birthday
Plan a birthday party for Chris
Go to the lake
Go camping
Catch a fish
Go to the state fair
Go to a concert
Go on a picnic
Visit 3 of the USA's top 41 wonders
Lose 20 lbs.
Lose 40 lbs.
Lose 60 lbs.
Wear Size 14 Jeans
Buy a pair of $100+ jeans
Get a Mani-Pedi
Get Massage
Get a Facial/Eyebrow Wax
Get haircut 4 times 0/4
Go to Doctor (Ob/Gyn)
Get fitted for a Bra
Complete a Jigsaw Puzzle (1000+ pieces)
Play FrisbeeGolf with Chris
Play a night of poker with the guys
Design the back yard flower beds
Plant the back yard flower beds
Fly a Kite
Sing at a Karaoke bar
Go to an Aquarium
Build a Snowman
Throw a snowball at Chris (These last 2 i am not sure will happen this year as we have gotten NO snow..and we usually already have a snow day)
Decorate the house for Halloween
Take picture in a photo booth
Learn to crotchet
Crochet something and give it as a gift
Learn to decorate a cake
Buy at least 5 gifts from ebay 0/5
Start a scrapbook
Blog at least 20 times a month (complete after 4 months) (does this count?)
Host a blog giveaway
Blog as I complete each goal
RELearn to change my oil
plant a veggi garden
Take some type of "fun" class-- cake decorating, Thai cooking, something like that.
Read 10 books -
Increase retirement contributions
Increase savings account by $5000
Get organized at work
Practice supervisor interviewing
Make new list of 65 thin

2009

ok i started this blog a LONG time ago and never did anything with it, mostly i was unsure what to write in it..now i know..here is what it is about, infertility, weight loss with PCOS, my journey to be healthy and adoption.
Infertility--it sucks, i have insulin resistence PCOS, i finally got my diagnosis after 4 long years. I am taking metiformin and it is not doing much for me. My DH went in for a SA in June, we never went to get the results, on one hand i want to know what they are, on the other, not so much.
We will not be doing any fertility treatments right now..all though DH did start mumbling about what our options are. I figure i will give him some time.
DH mom died in March and that got him really open to starting a family, especially since he now knows life is short, we cannot keep waiting for the perfect time, it will never come.
We are trying to adopt, all though this is not going as easy as i hoped it would, we have a social worker who does not work, i work as a child welfare worker..I KNOW what her case load is like..

And last but not least, today is my 1st day back on Weight Watchers, it is a struggle, the meds i take make me hypoglycemic so come around 4 and i am sick..i need to learn that whole 6 small meals. I do have 8 points left for dinner and am making a meal that is 7, then if i want a salad that is another 2..guess i will be dipping into the extra points. I wanted to go to the gym but being the 1st monday after new years, apparently EVERYONE else wanted to be at the gym too..hour long waits for the machine..no thanks..i will drag my happy butt up at 5 am and go in the morning. Man just a few more weeks and most people will drop off the planet of fitness resolutions.

alright until next time

peace